Existentialism moderated by some bliss from ignorance seems more and more necessary for me to remain interested in life and future.

     The headlines of current history are so appalling and alienating that I'm searching for some new perspective on the human condition that allows me to empathize, instead angering me with the hopelessness of our human families inability to see our commonalities, rather than our differences.
     It all comes back to: * over- population, *diminishing resources, *genetic and racial and class conflicts, *excessive wealth by corporate chronyism veiled as democracy, and the impulse all living things to protect their own most immediate gene pool be it tribe, family, or culture regardless of moral teachings to the contrary..."The Whispers Within" from a biologist clearly illustrate that whatever we want to call our patriotism, it all comes back to our most immediate clan when the going gets rough...call them militia, or call them the new tribal chiefs of red-neckia, the impulse to segregate is highlighted in almost all species of animals as well.
A current demagogue is currently trumping most racially nationalistic local leaders and followers.
     The Territorial Imperative, another biologist's perspective makes clear that even humans find that pissing on the boundary keeps the wolves further away.
Good fences make good neighbors, but only to a point, and when one neighbor drains the neighborhood of peace, quiet, and a parasitic disregard for the well being of the community, then fences alone, are not enough.
     So what am I trying to say?  I'm very discouraged.  All my life has been about de-illusioning myself about all the values I was told were human morality and ethics.  "Treating others as I wanted to be treated" I was told was the guiding principle of this heroic martyr wanted his followers to practice, and I was gullible enough to believe, despite Dachau, that deep down this is who we really wanted to be.  But each step of the way, from friends interred in Japanese Internment Camps, to realizations of the genocide of natives in North America who have never received an apology, to realizing even two black African cultures can be so vicious as to try genocide.  Gradually, I no longer have faith that Peace, as I understood it is possible, and even now, at 72, that brings tears to my eyes.
     Still, I am thankful, despite the humiliation of  being a gay draft dodger not to go to Viet Nam, and being grateful that despite not serving, life has given me opportunities, and it is painful to accept that power confrontations are as inevitable as volcanoes under the right conditions.  The Syrian refugees are the latest to try to run away, and are identified by their 'host' as invaders of  another culture, faith, color, dress, diet, and on and on, so it take a lot of determinations to put all other almost involuntary reactions aside...
That takes a lot of work, and risk for not adhering to the 'heil hitler' response of the crowd phenomena, so luckily I still can avoid crowds, and hide among the hills of our valley, to watch two ant colonies fight over a newly created openings in the ground en route to the aphid bushes...
I guess sighing, and shedding the odd tears is a natural phenoma to try to be at peace, again.

From  some perspective, somewhere, this little blue ball has too many pests, and as with other organism, a great die-off will result...I'm grateful it might be past my lifetime, but I'm not counting on it.